Sunday, June 30, 2013

Leaving


                           
After months of planning and preparation. Today IS the day.  I am leaving my comfort zone to seek solitude with God.  
If it is any sort of testament to motherhood--I chose to travel all the way to Egypt to try to accomplish this.
I am extremely sad to part with my family but extremely thankful to have this time.
If you would like to pray for me I would be grateful for that as well.

Please pray for safe travel (Psalm 43:3)
For Health and Strength (1 Samuel 25:6, Nehemiah 8:10, John 17:21)
For the leaders of the trip (Galatians 5:25)
To grow in knowledge and faith (Psalm 119:34-36, Deuteronomy 6:5)
For us to be faithful witnesses during this trip where ever we go. (2 Timothy 4:2)
For the Glory of God in all of this (Psalm 34:3)

I will try to update this from time to time as I travel but am not sure how much time or energy I will be able to put into it!  

There is also a blog here.

Sunday, October 14, 2012

I can't...

It is something I have told myself for 30 odd years. I can't run. I am not a runner. With a million excuses. And a fat belly.
Then one day I said to myself, and repeated later to facebook,
 "If all you have are excuses, that is all you will ever have."
but
   BUT
         BUT!
But I might throw up
     then throw up.
But I will look stupid
    who do you think is watching you?
But I have never been able to do it before!
     Because you quit at the first obstacle.
But I don't know how.
    Find a plan, get a clue.
But I am afraid that I will fail.
    If you don't try, you already failed.
But what if my joints swell up and I start feeling pain again?
     Then quit and go to the doctor.

So I tried.  I downloaded couch to 5k on the kids ipods.  I started the 8 week program 1 month ago.  I am on week 8.  Today I ran for 25 minutes without stopping.  I wasn't winning any races.  The tortoise and the hare beat me.  I don't care. I did it.

And I have realized that by telling myself I was not capable, I told God that I am not capable either.  I have lost  years of self discipline and fitness because I will never run as well as so and so and because I was afraid of failure.  I lost years of leaning on God when I struggled in my path because I chose the easy way. This may seem like a silly analogy however, it makes perfect sense to someone who lacks self discipline and regards themselves as not as good as those around her.
Oh, I have always felt just as loved as everyone else, probably even the favorite, but I just didn't think I had the drive.
I was wrong.
I am sorry God, it happens a lot. Just ask Greg. ;)
On Wednesday I turn 37.  I will run 3.1 miles on Wednesday. A new year, a new outlook, same me only driven.
Bless God.




Friday, August 24, 2012

Focus:


a point at which rays of light, heat, or other radiation, meet after being refracted or reflected.

It has been a long, somewhat slow summer.  Few of the activities that were on the kids to do list were accomplished. For whatever reason, whether it is the fault of the parents or not, this brings guilt.

While- should have, could have, would have, clouds his mothers brain.  Jacob has kept such a positive attitude. Always looking on the bright side.  Encouraging his sisters MORE than discouraging them.

Yesterday we spent the day at Shipshewana. Something that my kids love. Money BURNS a HOLE in their pockets.  Yet after having to work for a couple of weeks to pay for an ipod repair, it seems that Jacob has found some pleasure in SAVING.

He did not spend much of his money, while the girls bought every single thing that caught their eyes and their money ran out rather quickly.

The one purchase he did make was a package of magnifying glasses.  Not for observation of small things. No. To try to use them to start fire.

Which, by the way, works more quickly than I thought it did. 

This afternoon, he singed a napkin, some dead flowers, wood chips, fencing, shoes, skin, you name it. He figured out at what angle to hold the glass between the sun and the object to be burned and hold it there until the object would smoke.

My dad said, that is called focus. Which I always thought was something Jacob and I lacked. Which is partly why this summer got away from us. 

But I think, by watching him mature this summer.  By watching him react and encourage others just by being him. I think just maybe, he is it. A point at which rays of light, heat or other radiation meet after being refracted or reflected. 

Like the magnifying glass, He can gather the points of light that he encounters, draw them together and start something. He can.

Monday, July 30, 2012

Privacy please

Its a simple request.
With all the noise and the hustle and bustle around my house,
                           it is one that I make often.
When I am on the phone,
or the computer,
or changing,
showering,
 or using the restroom,
it irritates me when I am interrupted.
I feel constantly exposed to the fullest.
So why would I constantly allow anyone who crosses my blog to read it?
I need to protect my kids from too much over exposure because in their life time they will have plenty.
So for now,
PRIVACY PLEASE :)

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Its been warm.

The tulips have popped early,
     the trees are blooming,
           the lawn has already been mowed.

Today the weather changed.
As I walked out of school this morning
           I saw huge flakes falling fast.
I stepped out of the door and walked to my van.

I turned my head toward the sky and looked up at cotton-like snow flakes.
They splattered on my cheeks and nose.

I inhaled deeply
               and caught the sweet scent
                                                      of the flowering trees.

I have never experienced those things in the same moment.
Today, I experienced new.

I could choose to gripe because the weather is not perfectly sunny.
                        but I WILL NOT.
I will rejoice in the fact that it is not my call.

I will rejoice that while everything has a purpose,
       its not my burden to decipher what that purpose is.
And I will feel the underlying warmth in my soul,
                             while the snowflakes                  swirl,
 and the chill in the air brings
                            
                                          awareness.

Sunday, April 8, 2012

Thats better!

Thanks for your help Aunt Charity!!

Thursday, April 5, 2012

Dear Children,

I will take you on vacation to the ocean if, you promise to let me take some nice pictures of the four of you together.  
FAIL.
You kids owe me big-time.
~mom